how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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