Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
