somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
