I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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