yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
