did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Randomize
