eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
