i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Randomize
