so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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