After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
