have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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