What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Just took my morning after pill in the library
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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