The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I need moral support for this bender
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Randomize
