he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
