Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
