I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
