i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
