i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
