hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
