I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
