I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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