would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
