remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
she looked like the before picture.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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