we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
