I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Randomize
