I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
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