biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
There r osticjed everywhere
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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