I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
