you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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