sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize