How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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