hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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