Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
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I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
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I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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