Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
