Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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