He is an equal opportunity slut.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
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