I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
