Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
