I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
