So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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