u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
