i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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