Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
