my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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