real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I just want to make out with him forever
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
