Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
