i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
