Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
