I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
