But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
