Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
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