dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize
