he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
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