I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I came so hard my ears popped.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize