i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
