Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
