i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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