I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
