Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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