she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
