Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
