Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
